Feel Good 101: The Outsiders' Guide to a Happier Life by Emma Blackery

Author:Emma Blackery [Blackery, Emma]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
ISBN: 9780751569223
Publisher: Little, Brown Book Group
Published: 2017-09-07T04:30:00+00:00

Assault

I’m sorry, I couldn’t sugarcoat the heading. I wouldn’t want to lessen the emotional damage that sexual assault can cause. Sexual assault, unfortunately, is tragically common, and can happen in many different ways, but no matter what level of ‘severity’ someone says you’ve experienced it at, it can destroy you mentally as much as it can physically, if not more.

Essentially, to put it simply, sexual assault is any instance in which someone is trying to take control of your body in a sexual manner without your permission. That goes for someone slapping your arse in the street, somebody deliberately brushing against you on a packed train, someone you trust refusing to stop when you ask them to and pressuring you into continuing (which is legally considered as rape), or a complete stranger grabbing you and raping you. There are varying legal degrees of ‘severity’, but at the end of the day, sexual assault is inexcusable, and it is never, ever your fault. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing, how far you’d been going with that person, how much you drank – sexual assault is always the other party’s fault. I myself have experienced sexual assault, to the point where I was terrified for my body, and it’s a story I’ve never told.

It dates back to when I was still living with my dad in my home town. One day I was with him in our local shop. When we got to the checkout, we were served by a boy I found incredibly cute – tall and chiselled (honestly, what more could I ask for?) and only a little older than me, with a great smile. I was twenty years old, and I’d just started making videos on YouTube. This wasn’t a case of me being ‘young and naive’, which is an excuse many use to justify assault. Assault can happen at any age, and at any time, even with people you trust.

I told my dad that I found our cashier cute, and the next time my dad was served by him, bless his heart, he asked for the boy’s number for me! We started texting, and arranged to go on a date. Our ‘first date’ went pretty well, although I realised very early on that he was very hands-on. We went to a laser tag place in our town, before getting coffee. Every time he found me in the laser tag game, instead of shooting at me, he would pull me close to him, making out with me. I already knew in my mind that, as much as I fancied him, his level of affection was weirding me out – but not wanting to be ‘rude’ (facepalm) I went along with it.

After our coffee (he left me alone to drink his latte, thankfully) we walked to the bus station so he could catch his bus, all with him wrapping his arms around me and making out. At this point, I was completely confused. I knew I liked him, but as I’d got older, that level of PDA made me feel uncomfortable.

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